A True Prayer

To my true self,
to my deeper spirit,
to god,
or whoever I should plead,

Let me find understanding.
let me know the secret reasons and motives.

Let me see things fundamentally,
and completely.

Let me know what has value, and what does not.

Let my mind not get hung up on single topics, with no advance.

Let my understanding be of free intelligent analytic nature,
not of false rules, black-and-white, nor unwarranted simplicity nor complexity.

Let me be honest with myself.

Let me not be afraid to acknowledge and become aware of all thoughts that go through my mind,
no matter how vulnerable, no matter how subtle, no matter how embarrassing.

Let me lose those thoughts which are useless, wrong, or false.

Let me not forget what I learn.
Let me grow without illusion.

Let me not be content with distractions,
and other hollow things.

Let me find fulfillment and peace,
in honesty, with guilt truly reconciled.

Let me not use conformity or relativity as an excuse
to be psychologically lazy, or weak,
to excuse not growing,
or as a basis for my philosophy.

Let the thoughts of others and such social pressures mean nothing to me,
in my understanding of truth.
Let me not be afraid to be different.

Let me achieve whatever it is I should be, think, or do,
with no regard for anything else,
neither useless fears of my own nor false social guilt.
let such things be flies against me.

Let me lose ego, and arrogance, and greed, and all other mistakes of psychology.

Let me do this all with greatest possible speed.

If I cannot grow by seeking these things, in this way, then what else can I truly do?

Whatever it is, let me know it,
let me do it.

And if I cannot reach these things even then, then let me die.



I lie in bed at night and ask...

"(BOWL X) Body Which Does Blind"