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Friday, June 19, 2015

Non-Judgmentalism II

There is, of course, bad in certain kinds of judgments. Since I made it clear in my last post on judgmentalism that I'm not against being judgmental, let's spell out the difference between different kinds of judgments.

Everywhere I've been I've seen the same thing.. When I'm at work and have to take orders, there is, as with every job I've ever had and all customer-employee relations, the very strong sense of the hostility for the general customer base, and the employees in return.

These people are hanging by a thread, just waiting for you to mess up, so they can jump on you and make a judgment. You can absolutely sense it.

In return, the employees are utterly aligned against the customers. There's always the griping, and mocking customers behind their back, talking about the orders and the people and what they say and do, and how stupid they are perceived to be. And this is constant.

Sometimes customers will be especially "nice", trying real hard to force a nice demeanor, really contrived. I don't think too much differently of this, since it essentially seems to be motivated by a desire to feel superior to all the 'negative' others.

Maybe a lot of this griping is just letting off steam over rotten people that are upsetting.
But behind a lot of these attitudes people display, is the desire to feel superior. To gain power.

So often there's this attitude like "everyone else outside of us is stupid and inferior, but we - the people of this particular group - we get it." And I hate that. They can't see that they're all just the same, and doing the same.

Making these judgments about the customers or employees, just waiting for your chance to jump on them and be like "A-Ha! you're stupid!", makes us feel special and superior and set apart from the masses, yet in a very shallow and false way.


But it's too easy to make false associations. Because people exhibit this destructive behavior in every corner of the earth, it's too easy to look at it and go "oh, being angry with others is bad, making judgments about others is bad." But it's really just the specific aspect of attempting to gain power and superiority.

There is hate and judgment for the purpose of ego and power, and there is sincere hate and judgment over the genuine feeling of hurt by the abuse of the hunger for power.

It seems that sufficiently lost individuals are unable to firmly hold on to the distinction between the two. Perhaps they would read this and intellectually agree with it, but then they would exercise hatred against others for the purpose of feeling special, while attempting to claim it's the honest breed. Maybe they even cloak it that way to disguise from themselves so they can get away with it and get what they want.
I of course can't be the arbitrator of all disputes, but the distinction is rather clear to me.

Holding back enough of my judgments for long enough, over the course of years, in favor of a forced smile in the face of disturbing, power-hungry lifestyles, left me only still feeling a screaming, unsilenceable voice inside, saying even louder this time that "remaining silent and passive is absolutely wrong!" And this built in me the understanding that there must be something wrong with the philosophy of non-judgmentalism, and an understanding of the difference, which I do not even really feel tempted to abuse. Not even against those who have my sincere judgments. If I hate someone, I hate them for the sincere reasons, and leave the judgements that give me a high of superiority out of it. Because I know that sooner or later, having that sort of attitude only leaves me feeling cheap and soulless. I'm not trying to dance on their grave, I'm genuinely hurt and disturbed by them, and feel it would be a betrayal of love to not speak passionately against what they say or do. And when I'm passionately speaking, I'll take care not to get lost in my passion and start feeling special and superior about it... if I lose sight of what's important, if I start getting a self conscious sense of ego about myself in my anger, if I start thinking of myself as 'big and bad', I'll lose sight of the message, lose my will, and the message will become destroyed. What is important is what is important. Hatred should have genuine soul in it, and such soulful hatred should not be restrained. (strategic reasoning aside)


The idea that hatred is antithetical to love is a misconception, and probably comes from the external appearance of things. Being angry does not, after all, put on a very affectionate display of things. It's not something of a positive or affirming demeanor. But hatred nonetheless is one of several necessary tools to be used in the service of honest love. It's defense of the meek, and love is worth defending. Forget everything Jesus or Gandhi or Buddha told you, because their words have been spread all about by popular culture, yet have not borne fruit. You can't let the intimidation of the authority such figures carry socially get in the way of what your heart honestly feels is right. Some of them repeatedly told you to look inside yourself anyways, so why feel guilty for listening to your deeper self alone, as best you can understand it.

It's the desire for power and ego versus the desire for love.. again as always. Nothing else is important.

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